Biggest Fear

I think when you become a new mom, you have fears throughout every stage of their life. Fears of when they are in your belly, when they are newborns, when they are starting to crawl, when they are starting to walk, when they are toddles (that is our stage now), etc.
One of my biggest fears has always been that I would shut my children's' fingers in the car door. Do you ever see things happening in your mind and pray that they never, ever would happen? That is what I think about when I go to shut the car door every time. So, I am always making sure that Christian's hands/fingers are no where around the door when I go to shut it.
Today was a day that my biggest fear came true. It was like slow motion, shock, and fear all tied up into one emotion. We got home from walking across the dam. I was taking Christian out of the car, when I went to shut the car door and he went to stick his hand back in the car to get something. There it was...his four little fingers stuck right there in the closed door.
I screamed...
He stared at his hand...
I opened the door quickly, grabbed his hand to kiss it, and check it...
He started to scream and cry...
I ran inside and yelled to Shaun to get ice...
He cried...
I cried and said sorry five million times...
We sat on the couch for about an hour just holding each other.

His pointer finger and middle finger are the worst. They are already bruised and the pointer finger has a cut on the knuckle part. I hope that they look better tomorrow.
Mommy feels like the worst mommy in the world and is oh so very sorry.