Bad Mommy

Dear Christian,

I just did a "bad mommy" thing. It is really hard for me to write this down and to be honest about this but I have always promised you that I would be honest with you. So, in order for you to be honest with me, I must be honest with you first (I know that you will read this one day).

I just held a grudge against you tonight! Yes, my little angel. What was I doing? What am I doing? You are a toddler and I am an adult.

Let me tell you what happened so you will know where I am coming from...
During supper time you were sitting in your high chair eating. You were finished so mommy was about to clean you up. Well, you started doing your famous "throwing food on the floor for Rockey and Mickey" stunt. Mommy asked you to stop doing that; however, you looked at me, laughed and threw it on the floor anyway. So, mommy proceeded with a little pop. Then you proceeded with a big slap across mommy's face.

I was so hurt. I could not believe that you just did that. So, mommy proceeded with another pop and time out. While you were sitting in time out (you were, of course, crying) mommy had to get up and leave because she was about to cry, as well. I mean my little baby just slapped me across my face. I have never been slapped in the face before and I never thought that my first time would be from you.

So, after a few (a lot) of tears I came back out of the bedroom and started cleaning. You, of course, were playing and having a great time. I wanted you to feel bad for what you had done. Tell me you were sorry and you would never do it again, but I got nothing (probably because you can't talk really, ha.) You just wanted to play. You would come up to me and hand me things to play with but I would just shrug you off...I was too busy cleaning to play with you. What I was really doing was holding a grudge.

The reason I am writing this is first to tell you that I am sorry and second I will NEVER hold a grudge from you again. I certainly know better than that and I let my pride get the best of me. God would be so ashamed. He did not bless me with such a precuous gift to be pushing it to the side because I thought my pride was more important (it certainly is not). So, I am asking for forgiveness from you and from God. I know what I have done is wrong. I love you with all of my heart. You are my heart and soul. Without you I would not be complete.

Thank you for your forgiveness. Hugs and kisses. I love you through and through...yesterday, today, and tomorrow too.

Mommy